May 16th, Friday. Gig No.35, Stand and Deliver, Goodfillas sandwich shop, Dover

That’s right. This gig was in a sandwich shop. In Dover. Two hours drive, all excited about doing a big Friday night out of town gig, and it’s a fucking sandwich shop. Thwarted yet again. MY BIG MOMENT taken away from me. If the Gods are up there, they’re fucking laughing at us. Actually, the punters were too. They really laughed! What a great gig. It was a lovely. That’s the thing about comedy. You never know what kind of surroundings will produce such a fun atmosphere. The crowd were just really up for it. It’s lovely to play a gig where people are actually enthusiastic and up for it. A joy to play. From now on, I’m only playing sandwich shops.

On the drive up I shared company with comics Jim Daly (driving) and Russ Haynes (singing). You never know what a car journey with other comics is going to be like. Most of them are deeply uncomfortable experiences, with each ego maniac comedian present pitched in savage name dropping/act slagging one upmanship. Who can tell the best stories about cunts on the cicruit. And you’re sitting there, thinking ‘These ARE the cunts on the circuit’. What can I say about Jim and Russ? They were WORSE. They were a disgrace to their professions. Slagging off every act you can think of, spreading awful lies and tawdry gossip, they destroyed more reputations in two hours than Operation Yewtree did in 18 months. Actually, no they didn’t. Couldn’t have travelled with two nicer blokes. It was a pleasure to spend a car journey with them. Even when Russ started singing White Cliffs of Dover. Jim joined in, and, caught up in the spirit of it, I piped up too. They stopped singing after that.

Honestly, I have nothing much to write about. I’m running out of shit. I’m worried about this, I have another 10 and a half months of blog to fill. Jesus. I guess I should write a sandwich based Goodfellas.

OK, here we go.

"As far back as I can remember, I always wanted to make sandwiches. To me, being a sandwich maker was better than being President of the United States. Even before I first wandered into the sandwich shop for an after-school job, I knew I wanted to be a part of it. It was there that I knew that I BELONGED..."

Gig No.35 done. Promoter/MC and top bloke Paul Tingey, Jim Daly, Russ Haynes, and some cunt squatting