April 23rd, Wednesday. Gig No.18, Bear Funny, Finsbury pub

I'm going to be a little cheeky here. I'm not going to write much. I have a lot to do today, and it doesn't entail writing for you fucks. What can I say about tonight's gig? Well, I was pissed off all the way home. I went on second last, and pretty much the whole audience pissed off by the time I got on. The last few stragglers all lined up the front row. Credit to them, they stuck it out. But when I did my act, most of them all had really arrogant, patronising looks on their faces. (One comic looking bored). Real fucking annoying. They didn't really get what I was doing.

I'm being immature and stupid, with no real jokes, trying to get away with it. I'm a chancer who has no business being on stage. But they just think: 'He's really immature and stupid, with no real jokes, trying to get away with it. He’s got no business being on stage!' But THAT'S the joke! My act is the joke! How DARE these people patronise me! The thing is, I don’t think I am performing it properly yet. It’s not conspiratorial enough. (Or rehearsed enough. Think pianist walking out into a concerto and banging the keys like Mighty Joe Young after a really uncomfortable enema). I still need to work on it. But when something's not quite working, how long do you persist with it? When do you call it a day? Some ideas take a long long time to click into gear. But some ideas won’t ever click into gear. There’s no real way of knowing. All I know is when I think of dropping it and doing a regular ‘Hey guys isn't bread funny’ act, it depresses me. I reckon 90% of acts these days are straight men/women doing conversational acts. Straight man talking funny. I don’t want to be straight man talking funny. I want to be weird man talking bollocks. Weird child man talking bollocks, and running off before the promoters lynch me.

Anyway, I’m off, as I said - today is gonna be a short one. I wonder if Ronnie Corbett says that to himself in the mirror?

Gig No.18 done. MC Gary Sansome