Camden G+B. I like doing this club. The promoters love their gig, and they run it with real care. The room is always set up when you arrive, there are posters on the walls of all the acts who are on, the sound check has already been done, and you are welcomed in a warm and friendly manner. You have a well constructed show, and they mix it up by including fun games, magic and even had a plum eating contest. (Don’t ask, just go an check it out). And, best of all, for me they have been really lovely and supportive about my challenge. They even have a countdown of my gigs on my poster on the wall. Thank you Sirs, always a pleasure to play your gig.
Gig No.2. In Nowhere Town, Cuntsville
I had to leave the G+B show early and get to this gig quick. Travelled quite some way. I get there, and, oh, my. The promoter is all over the place. The audience have been ‘chatty’. I survey the room. It is a gig in the actual main bar floor. The punters are merry, and they are naturally very talkative. Fair enough. It’s their night out. But a show has started in the middle of the room, and they’re not interested. It was so bad, one of the acts actually scarpered. Pissed off. They didn't want to work that room. So naturally the MC/promoter seemed very glad I turned up. But that was the last thing I did that he liked.
Before I went on, the MC/Promoter started the final section, and spent the entire time trying and failing to get the room to shut up. He attempted to get the people in the other half of the pub to come and sit down and be quiet, and they ignored him completely. The room just kept chatting away. (Again, I don’t blame the punters. It’s their local pub, it’s their night out. They didn’t know some twat with a microphone would be there hassling them to shut up and stop talking) In the end he gave up and brought me on. There were 5 ladies in the front row. They actually made an effort to pay attention to the show. I tried to do my set. The talking in the bar was endless, and, yes, I allowed myself to get distracted. The incessant talking would not stop. I stuck to my five minutes, but then I blurted something out. This would be my fatal mistake with regards to the MC/promoter. I blurted out, on mic, ‘You need a seperate room! A function room’. I said sorry to the ladies in the front and got off. I didn’t mean anything unkind about what I said, I wasn’t angry and I meant it in the nicest way as possible. I was smiling as I said it. But I said it, on stage, in front of the audience, which I shouldn’t have done. A mistake, for which I should have apologised. I couldn’t do that, cause I got the fuck out of there as quick as I could.
Evidence would suggest the MC/promoter was displeased with what I said. What evidence?
This:
“The last comic of the night (who was double gigging) struggled and blamed the room which I have no issue with except he did it on the mic to the audience which did rankle a tad - a little more experience under his belt (he's on some sort of marathon gig quest thing) should help him deal a little more pro and a little less "dying but it's not my fault".”
Wow!! Shock!! My first review!! Woooooo!!!!
Now. Honestly, when I read this, I was angry at first. I travelled a long way to do that gig. When it came to writing this blog, I WANTED to say: ‘Comics be warned if you want to play this room.‘
I WANTED to say ‘It provides the absolute worst performing conditions you can have, and then if you dare to displease the promoter in any way he will post vindictive shit about you. Even if another act actually leaves because it’s so SHIT and you actually still go on, honouring your commitment.’
But I won’t say that. That’s far too bitter. (I’m not a bitter man. I can let go and forgive. I’ll do that as soon as I’ve finished writing this blog.) Reading it again a couple of days later, I have calmed down. I can see he is just trying to defend something he really cares about. He felt under attack, and wanted to lash out. I get that. It was his first big show and he wanted to be a success. And it wasn’t. He needs something or someone to blame. And he seems to have chosen me. Fine.
As for the issue of never ‘blaming room’. That’s fine too. I am in absolute agreement with that. Too many comics blame rooms when they should be looking at themselves. And believe me, I look at myself. I take responsibility for my set. Even after good sets I walk away with that niggling feeling I could have done better. (I never blame myself when I crash a car though. I always blame the brewery company) As for this gig, yes, I really do need to learn to handle these rooms better. I have a lot to learn. But you know, sometimes, just sometimes, it really is the room. You do have to consider that. Not only do the comics have to take responsibility for themselves, so too do the promoters. An act has an obligation to bring a decent comedy set. And a promoter has an obligation to make a room workable for his acts.
I’ve seen this before: A bad promoter runs a bad gig. An act criticises the gig. The promoter lashes out and says the act needs to ‘stop blaming the room’. That they need to do “a little less "dying but it's not my fault"”. That kind of noxious, sleazy thinking is right up there in George W Bush territory. ‘You’re either with us or against us!’ That is, you’re either a good comic, or a bad comic who blames the room. Bollocks. There’s another option you know - sometimes, just sometimes, the room is not very good.
My advice to comics: Never blame the room. Ever. Seriously. I’m not blaming the room last night. I allowed myself to get distracted by the environment, and I blurted out something I shouldn't have. If you blame a room, you take away the most important thing you have: The ability to learn.
My other advice is. Don’t do this room. It’s a pile of shit.
* I will say that’s just a joke. I’m OK now about it. Promoters reserve the right to dislike me and my act. That's fine. It’s just genuinely too much fun writing shit like this! I will say to be fair to the promoter, it WAS just their first show in that venue. The first one. Naturally there will be teething problems in a new venture. I’m sure they will learn from it. I really hope they find a way to improve the show. I wish them the very best of luck.
Gigs No. 48+49 done.
MC/Promoter Alexander Henry Buchanan-Dunlop (Great gig)
No.2 MC/Promoter (Not so great gig)
i've discussed this at length with Mr Hunter and I believe as all comedians do, that some rooms are just really badly suited for comedy. The cardinal sin is to have the gig in an open bar - with people milling about and doing their bar stuff. You are then, literally, an idiot shouting at people.
ReplyDeleteThey don't want you there, they want to get drunk and play pool or darts. Give it up.
what does a gig like that do?
There's a fallacy that it hardens you up, readies you for tough gigs. So, you wanna play gigs like that for the rest of your career?
It's macho bullshit. The Comedy Store Gong is a hard gig but its the best room in comedy. Get good at that and you'll be hard as nails. As for these bullshit gigs, walk out and don't do them in protest.
They're started by people who know nothing about comedy and its stand ups who get the blame for not doing well